Day Eighteen - February 26, 2026
Through Tears, Hallelujah
To be more than conquerors means we face the trials of life with the certainty that we are not alone. We have a mighty Father who fights for us. We approach the darkest valleys with confidence. (Romans 8: 37)
Charles Spurgeon wrote - “No shelter can be imagined at all comparable to the protection of Jehovah’s own shadow. The almighty himself is where His shadow is, and hence, those who dwell in His secret place are shielded by Himself.” I’ve been thinking about this the last few days. I’ve never considered God would have a shadow, but what would that look like. He is so big, so powerful, wouldn’t his shadow be also? Shadows in our human life often bring about thoughts of where the darkness hides, but reading this quote from Charles Spurgeon has made me look at one of my steadfast Psalms… it has seen me through many years now… into a realization. Psalm 91 speaks of God’s shadow as his shelter and refuge and I turn to it often.
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
So, on Tuesday evening as we spent another late appointment with my doctor, he was once again working on the source of my breathing issues. In my Tuesday post I mentioned he found ribs out. And through the treatment of the ribs, I made an off hand comment that there was an area of my spine that felt dense. He investigated and the trajectory of the appointment changed. He spent some time testing, and only once he had gathered enough evidence did he say, I am finding abnormal cellular growth in your left and right intestines and your pineal gland. He had just found cancer. It sucked the air out of the room and I couldn’t look at Jeff for a good while as I knew if I looked over at him I wouldn’t be able to keep myself together. One more thing to fight when the fight was already so overwhelming.
I have heard that Mast Cell Activation can progress to cancer as the body continues to attack itself. Its also a possibility with mold and Lyme. I had always hoped I would escape this potential and would be one of “the lucky ones”. Further testing revealed that it was none of the above, but the metal that had been inserted into my jaw at the young age of 14, thirty seven years ago. I then received an answer I have been searching for… the cancer is being caused by the toxic levels of nickel that have leached out of my implant over the years. Now more than ever, I want the metal in my head removed, and wouldn’t it be remarkable to see my symptoms fall away.
The testing does not show the amount of cancer, or the aggressiveness of it. All we have at this point is its existence. We felt shiftless, uncertain, and not quite sure what to do, ask for, or plan next. We talked about staying longer and the doctor asked if I would try the EBOO dialysis again as it would benefit me with a cancer diagnosis, and the results from the blood filtering would also be analyzed and assessed. My fight came back with a roar, “come hell or high water” and I was going to sit through that EBOO with all the strength God would give me. So even though the office was closed, and I couldn’t be in the schedule, I was going to arrive the next day with a plan.
Since a large meal is required 2 hours prior to an EBOO (dialysis) I woke up a little after six and cooked my chicken and rice. At 8 I called the office but couldn't’ get through. I was ready, I was just waiting for the call. By 8:40 we got the call to come in for 11:30. So I ate again, as much as I could, and then tried to hydrate myself for the greatest success. Our road to success included trying to saturate my veins first with saline by iv. The first vein blew with just the drip. The nurse didn’t understand as my veins looked fantastic. She tried again and over time was able to get a port going in both my left and right arm. One for the blood to go in and one for the blood to go out. Once the saline was done the next big step was starting the dialysis machine which would put pressure on my veins. Hallelujah, they held. I’ve got my calm face on, even though inside I am quaking. Jeff sits patiently in the chair across from me, there if I need him. It took my nurse Pam awhile to get my blood to flow. Once again, the blood trickled into the tubing, and stopped. Pam didn’t give up, and 20 minutes later after much struggle, she had it moving. I made it through 40 minutes of the full 50 minutes. If it wasn’t for the 3 litres of water I had drunk to make this a success, plus the three bags of saline, I could have made it the full 50. The amazing thing was… the longer the EBOO lasted, the more the pressure on my lungs eased. And once I had rushed back from relieving all that fluid to hug Pam, she showed me a discovery that had dropped out of my tubing. A blood clot of fibrin had landed on the floor. My science brain was thrilled, what a discovery! It confirmed what I had been asking all along, was there too much fibrin in my blood, and when these stringy bits get in front of a needle, do they block the blood flow. Proof positive confirmed. When blood doesn’t move through you, it hurts… including breathing.
My doctor tested the clot and confirmed it was fibrin. We will move forward on treating the fibrinolytic activity in my blood, and today he also discovered I have elevated platelets which will also make my blood sticky.
Jeff and I have been letting the news settle and we’ve talked to our doctor on the best course of action. He agrees that staying til at least next Wednesday will allow him to pivot to getting me set up for cancer treatment as well as follow up on concerns I came in with that have not yet been addressed. We have decided to stay until Wednesday and today Jeff was able to find a new place to stay, as our current home runs out this Saturday morning. This will also allow me to have another EBOO (prayerfully and successfully), giving me the opportunity to clean my blood further. And the results from the first EBOO confirmed both the cancer diagnosis and the fibrin as present in my blood.
Our doctor also suggested a head and abdominal scan which I did this morning at another medical centre in Brentwood. It will take 3 - 5 business days to get the results. As we left Dr Earnham on Tuesday night he shook Jeffs hand and gave me a hug. These discoveries for him are difficult too. As mentioned in my Tuesday blog, he spoke of a wonderful sermon this past Sunday he heard on Suffering. Seems strange to put wonderful and suffering in the same sentence, but there you go. I was trying to stay calm but it was slipping as I told him about the emotional rollercoaster I’m on.
So once again, this breathing which really only became a massive concern an hour after leaving home earlier this month to travel here to Tennessee, has led to multiple discoveries including the cancer. Through the tears, Hallelujah. We believe that I am likely in very early stages based on bloodwork I had before leaving home. We will continue to hope and pray for this and with current treatments will be able to share another miracle in the future.
Today’s doctor’s appointment consisted of spending some time examining some cysts I’ve had on my head for some time to assess if they were cancerous. They appear to have toxins, but not of the cancerous sort. Then we moved on to finding remedies my body would not reject so I could start the cancer protocol. As I am so reactive, this take an inordinate amount of time. I have just taken my first dose and we pray our miracles pile up!
Sometimes I feel like the woman who pulled on Jesus’ robe begging for help after 12 years of suffering. So many prayers over so many years.
Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.”
But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:42-48
This weekend will not be entirely restful with moving out of one cottage into another. Jeff has just booked our next location to Leiper's Fork Tennessee. New adventures await. It is about the same distance to the clinic as our current location in Thompson Station.
Please continue to pray for complete healing as I hear in my mind, “My Child, I am not done with you yet.” I have more to learn and more to grow.
Many songs speak to me. Music is such a blessing.
These words from Anne Wilson are from my heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5OqL-75ATM&list=RDK5OqL-75ATM&start_radio=1
I’ve walked through nights that felt like they would never end
Held onto prayers that felt too heavy to defend
My heart was breaking
But you stayed beside me
Whispering hope through the hurt deep inside me
And when my strength was gone
Your mercy carried on
So, through tears, Hallelujah!
Even when the pain is real
Through the storms that try to steal
everything I know is true.
Through tears Hallelujah
You’re the one that pulls me through
When I can’t lift my hands to you
Your love lifts them up for me too.
I’ve seen the mountains move but not the way I planned
Sometimes the miracle is just learning how to stand
In every breaking you built something stronger
What tried to stop me only made my faith grow bolder
And when I fall apart
You meet my shattered heart
So, through tears, Hallelujah!
Even when the pain is real
Through the storms that try to steal everything I know is true.
You’re the God who sees the hidden ache
The broken places only you can take
And turn them into songs of praise
Like rising from the darkest day
So, I’ll sing it even trembling
Because you’re faithful in my suffering
Hallelujah
Through tears, Hallelujah
Every sorrow every fight
You’re the one who brings me light
When I can’t see my way through.
I’ll keep trusting what you do
For the God who cried for me too
ls the God who will carry me through
Through tears
Hallelujah