Day Eleven - February 18, 2026
Prayers for Tomorrow….
Last night I had a significant reaction to one of my meds, so todays doctors appointment was spent analyzing, adjusting, and correcting. It was “ironically” discovered that the reason I reacted, as the ingredients seemed safe, was that mold had gotten into the formula. No wonder I couldn’t breathe. Last nights sleep was restless, likely due to the reaction, but for the most part I have learned how to handle flares and am grateful we were able to narrow down so quickly which particular med was causing issues. it was actually two of the twelve I take.
We are starting to have fun with our doctor. I call myself his “problem patient” and he responds that I’m not a problem, and take it in whichever way you choose, but he says he is learning from me (smiley face emoji). I’m so helpful! If I don’t keel over, he can possibly help the next patient (some impish humor there). Beyond protecting me from my new meds, we didn’t make any progress on diagnosis today, but I did find balance in our discussions. Since arrival I’ve been wrestling with my inability to use all the treatments and aids at my disposal (it seems like such a waste). Plus there is a self deprecating feeling of side eyes of staff who may be thinking… she can’t handle anything, she’s too afraid, or she’s so difficult. So even though I intimately know my own limits, I have gone through the mental battle of pleasing others and risking myself. I’ve asked this question in a number of different ways, …which therapies should I try regardless of reaction (as staff wants to sign me up everyday). For progression to my goal should I risk for a potential reward? Today I finally received a logical answer I felt at peace with. Dr Ehrnman has had past patients who were highly reactive and under a heavy toxic burden who reacted to many of the treatments. He said he would spend so much time undoing the damage, that investigating and tackling the root cause of the illness was hampered. So I will continue on my journey of baby steps with confidence. Confident teeny tiny steps! Small steps forward will get me to my goal far faster than swinging for the fences and ending up with the fence crashing on top of me. I will be the turtle in the race. I have to win the race, how I get there shouldn’t trouble me.
Tomorrow is the big day for dialysis (EBOO). Please pray my blood doesn’t coagulate, flows smoothly, and I have no allergic reactions to the process. At the very least I am expecting strong fatigue and a lot of body pain. But as we can pray for the best, please pray I feel absolutely fantastic, this process will actually rejuvenate my body, and will be a massive step forward in my journey. The toxins filtered from my blood will be analyzed and we may have some fantastic scientific discoveries ahead! Won’t that be exciting! Science can be so fun! My morning starts at 8am tomorrow for my first therapy. My doctors appointment is at 9:30. We will rush back to cook my food from frozen (to prevent histamines), then rush back to the clinic for the EBOO at 1:30 (space in the day for my meal prep is mandatory as a full meal is required 2 hours before treatment to prevent glucose from crashing), then I have my last therapy, and finally I will go back to our cottage likely exhausted. Stay tuned for tomorrows update if I can think straight.
Through the last number of years specifically, I’ve felt I am fighting something invisible. Our medical community does not yet have all the knowledge and testing for every type of illness, so finding answers where there seem to be none is a exhausting and a physically and emotionally traumatic journey. Ten years ago there were definitely no answers to my symptoms, but I am grateful that technology has allowed for research and facilities to make themselves known, and that treatment in its full form (for more than just Lyme) has become somewhat available. I interviewed 6 clinics, and felt a strong calling to the research of the doctor in Tennessee. Even with the wobbles and bobbles of being extremely compromised on arrival, consistently high in symptoms, and doubt flaring daily, I have become confident I am where God wants me to be.
I’d like to share the Breastplate of St Patrick as it has struck me profoundly in its simplicity and depth. Patrick was a fifth century early Christian missionary who travelled to Ireland, risking his own life to bring the Word of God. My Irish friends may know this prayer. Patrick and early Celtic Christians took this prayer seriously as they traveled into a fully dangerous pagan world of witchcraft, shamanism, curses, warring clans, and human sacrifices. Irish monks called this prayer a Lorica which translates in Latin as armor. So like Ephesians 6:14 this prayer became the “breastplate”. Ergo, the prayer was the breastplate of St Patrick. In my desolate and lonely times of fighting the invisible (whether from this earth or if I am fighting a battle not of flesh and blood Ephesians 6:12) I have wonderment at a prayer protecting my heart like a breastplate as Patrick used it to protect his life.
Enjoy these verses from the Breastplate of St Patrick:
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity.
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.
I arise today, through
God's strength to pilot me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and near.
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity.
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.
God Bless you all, and my profound gratitude to you for walking with me on this journey. Your messages are a source of support and bring me to tears of joy.
Love Maria.
… And today I arrived to my home away from home to receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my wonderful children.
