Day Twenty Three - March 3, 2026
Who Am I?
My journey has been long, lonely, and extremely exhausting. It’s still surreal for me to find myself in this place, but here I am. I mentioned from the beginning how incredible it was to be seen. I know God is with me and he sees me, but when the road is long and dark, you lose your significance and sense of self.
Over the weekend , during the night, I felt something completely unexpected on this journey to healing. I felt a spiritual attack which left me dumbfounded. I woke up from the “not fun” “disturbances” I was feeling. Jeff woke up as well and I told him quite definitively what was happening. I had no doubt. We prayed together and I listened to Psalm 91 and Ephesians 6, Wide awake I talked to Jeff on how my insignificance could have brought me to the attention of forces outside of flesh and blood. Who am I? In my weakened state I don’t feel worth the effort. But I know from the flow of blessings coming back at me from all of you, that my words have been an encouragement to many (so humbling), and if my battle does not succeed, it would affect many. I know I am a child of the King. Who am I? I belong to the great “I Am.” And if this battle I’m on is drawing attention, then glorious days must be ahead. Please stand firm and continue praying. I thank you all. “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.. ..And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” (Ephesians 6:14 &18)
After so many years of begging and pleading for healing, last night I had the word “privilege” pop in my mind. Like the hymn, “what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.” This long, endless, arduous journey, has brought me to February and now March 2026 where Jeff and I have, day after day, week after week been immersed in actually living out God’s presence and activeness. Even through the very difficult days, which has made it all the more obvious. What a blessing, what a privilege to have the opportunity to be so aware of His presence and guidance. It is utterly humbling. God has protected me and sustained me all these years and I get to see the battle. Hallelujah and Wow!
Today at the clinic I had lymph massage which usually gives me the “I’ve been hit by a truck” look, but the therapist felt she made significant headway. I will see her again tomorrow for another round. I followed that with my daily doctor’s appointment. My adrenals and hormones were checked today. I knew my adrenals have been shot for some time, and last week it was indicated that the Accutane had been a strong culprit for this. Treatments were found, and it was noted that the one supplement I was using for adrenal health actually had mold in it. That was an unfortunate surprise, so we are tossing that one! My hormones were better than expected although some areas indicated help along with a possible genetic component. At least one gene SNP (single nucleotide polymorphisms) was found. These are the most common type of genetic variation. We will explore this a bit tomorrow, time allowing, as I am going into my last day. Tomorrow we will also try to get through my thyroid, heavy metals, and gut health. That’s a lot for a few hours work!
Tomorrow I am also very focused on having the most successful EBOO yet, as this will continue to filter toxins out of my blood as well as clean it for improved function. Please pray this procedure goes magnificently well. That my blood will cheerfully flow without any of those nasty fibrin or clots getting in the way. It will likely be a very tiring and long day for me so please also pray for endurance and renewed vibrance. Jeff will likely be the one packing up tomorrow so we can leave bright and early for our trip back home on Thursday. I will update again tomorrow with the final decision of … was everything accomplished within reason that needed to be checked before we depart. If there are any “must do” medical inspections that are left undiagnosed, there is a chance we will see the doctor for a few hours on Thursday.
As I have been typing this, I received a beautiful gift of love my Mom shared with me from St. Anns Community Church. The church is sewing me a prayer quilt. I have attached a photo below of the words written on the back of the quilt. It brought tears to my eyes. It has been again, so humbling, and incredibly helpful, while stumbling through the daily trials (and they seem to have been daily!), to be lifted up and part of the family of God. I have many armies lifting their voices in prayer and there is no more beautiful a song than I can imagine.
Yet Not I but Through Christ in Me Song by CityAlight ‧ 2018
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name?
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star would choose to light the way
The night is dark but I am not forsaken
For by my side, the Saviour He will stay
I labor on in weakness and rejoicing
For in my need, His power is displayed
To this I hold, my Shepherd will defend me
Through the deepest valley He will lead
Oh the night has been won, and I shall overcome
Yet not I, but through Christ in me