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I have made it. Praise the Lord. God’s hand has sustained me back to Canada and I am grateful for all your prayers. Every prayer request has been answered and all miracles have been gifted. The journey home was much more difficult than expected or predicted. The doctor had theorized my body, rid of the metal, would find the trip much less reactive and safer than the flight to Costa Rica. Likely not taking into account the state my body was in prior to surgery and the toll the surgery would take on the cellular and adrenal condition I was in.

Jeff and I were up at 3:30 CST to put our room back to sorts and allow me time to eat some mashed potatoes, prepared lovingly by Jeff, and to prep my body for the journey ahead. Escazu to San Jose is a half hour trip, We arrived at the airport, not near as large as Pearson, and made our way through the maze of stores and cafes towards security. We put our baggage on the rails to be scanned and stood in line. When it came to my turn, I was pulled. I got my own private female immigration officer who gave me a thorough pat down while my purse was inspected. I had no metal on, so I could only theorize there had to be metal still in significant quantities in my blood to set the scanner off. Another theory mentioned to me afterwards was, when you have had recent radiation, you can set off an airport x-ray scanner. I had gone through two CT scans before and after surgery, and multiple x-rays during the surgery. So, this theory definitely holds weight. The only other thought that made its way into my brain was the somewhat darkly humourous idea that, standing there with my bruised face and scrawny physique, I may have givean the impression I was a drug mule. Never thought I’d have those thoughts, but given the scenario… who knows… another possibility as to why I received so much “special” attention.

We boarded and it looked like we had very good seats which would allow me space to move my legs and keep up the blood flow. With takeoff I noticed my ears weren’t popping as they normally did which was likely due to the swelling in my face causing extra fluid buildup. About an hour into the trip, having settled and finally at altitude, my chest suddenly seized and I was having a hard time breathing with a sudden acceleration of heart rate. I tapped Jeff on the arm to let him know I was struggling and it was significant. I looked at the map and we were nowhere near an airport and over open water. In no way did I want to be the source of drama or stress for other people on the flight but it looked like it was edging that way. I tried calming my body and praying, but the symptoms were not letting up. It was somewhat similar to the reaction I experienced with high 5g exposure travelling to Tennessee, except I was 34,000 feet of the ground and we couldn’t just “pull over” or find an ER. God had prepared us as, even though predictions were good, we decided while packing to bring our emf blanket (tent) in our carry on. We hadn’t done this on the way in when it would have likely been more needed, but we had done it for the way home. I finally told Jeff the need was urgent to try and get the big sheet out of the carryon luggage area. As we were in the very front of the plane I wondered if I was sitting directly in front of the wifi router. When I had this experience last Fall with exposure to strong signals in the millions (its safe to be below 10) I experienced arrythmia, spasming in my limbs, loss of feeling in my limbs, and seizure like symptoms. So my brain made the correlation and had the hope that finding some protection would allow for safety. This reaction was a second confirmation of possible high levels of metal still being present in my blood.

I know many were praying for me and this gave me comfort. Some were praying for angels on our plane and beside our plane. I visualized this and closed my eyes and pictured Christ in front of me, holding me next to him. Jeff switched seats so I would be more inconspicuous against the window and he wrapped me up like a caterpillar in a cocoon. For the rest of the trip I stayed still and quiet, wishing the minutes by and praying. I would glance every now and then at the onscreen map and saw us cross over Cuba, then Miami, then inland towards Columbus and other cities. The 5 ½ hours did go by faster than expected, praise the Lord. My symptoms lessened and I was able to speak more. As we headed over lake Erie and crossed into Canada the pilot gave a little waggle of the plane wings and I knew we were close to home. As we soared over the area we could tell we might literally fly over our house, what an awesome sight as we did! Home! We circled over Toronto, and finally, we landed, and I was still breathing. Being in the front of the plane we were the second ones off, and we slowly made our way to security. Most people don’t travel in a compromised state, so I imagine I bothered more than one rushed passenger with their need for speed. After a fatiguing length of time waiting for our luggage we finally were able to make our way to Arrivals. My parents were waiting for us and I couldn’t help but cry. I had survived, but it had been a lot.

We made it home in good time and by evening I could feel my body was stretched far too thin. My adrenals had been taxed further than they could go.

This morning we also heard that Audrey, our dear friend had passed to her eternal home. Audrey has been such a spark in our lives and an encouragement for me. So difficult to hear as I come home, she has also gone home. We are forever grateful for her presence in our lives and our kids’ lives, gratefully Caleb and Meagan were able to see her one final time last night.. There is no one quite like Audrey and there are not enough colourful words to explain the mischevious soul she shared with the world. We love you Audrey, we will miss you. Your pain is gone and you can now bother John once again :).

The last few days have not seen any revival of energies. It seems it will take time to have any vitality resurface. I’ve had a difficult time eating because of nausea and I still have pain. I asked Caleb to look at me osteopathically this morning, not for a full treatment as I don’t think my body could handle much, but enough to possibly open up any pathways that are compromised and to possibly set my body up to be able to process the toxins out of my body. He found my body had no vitality which would have been affecting all my organs, so he gently tried to encourage my body to a better place of functionality. Thankfully, after the treatment, I have been able to eat without as much nausea, and was able to move around more as well. Also over the last few days, even though they are more rare here, I have seen a cardinal each day out my window. They give me pause and a quiet sense of peace. While away in Costa Rica I had friends and family share with me their sightings of cardinals and how it prompted prayers on my behalf. Again, i am grateful. God is with me. There may not have been any cardinals in Costa Rica (beyond my little plastic ones :) ), but God’s fabulous creation was still on display with long tailed green birds and chortling geckos which kept us company every night.

Saturday is Marijke’s bridal shower. It would be wonderful if I can attend, what a joy that would be. But we will cautiously see how tomorrow goes. So far small things wear me out very quickly so I have learned already to be frugal with my energies as the fallout tends to be bigger than the act of whatever I am attempting. (Although l know I’m not the best at listening to “what I should do.”)

I have an appointment schedules for Monday with my doctor in Washington to see what the next steps will be, what I should be retested on, and what the immediate future will look like. This doctor has been a great help, so I am hopeful we will get the responses and next steps fairly quickly. I am still waiting for all my medical records from Costa Rica to arrive. Hopefully they arrive sooner than later so I can upload them to medical professionals here. I am curious to see if some of the burdens my body has been struggling with for so many years will drop away. What a blessing that would be.

The wedding of Marijke and Caleb is 3 weeks away. So I pray and hope for a strong return of energy and stamina.

Thank you again for your continued love and prayers. The journey had been extremely long and difficult. Your prayers and support have meant the world to Jeff and I. Going through something like this but seeing, feeling and experiencing support is a treasure beyond words. Remarkable, Sustaining. And truly life changing.

God Bless You All.

Much Love

Maria

Home!

My Bible Meditation yesterday was Psalm 30. It’s not one of the standard psalms I’ve held onto about strength, protection, and courage over the last few months, but the words spoke to me. As I type out “Psalm 30” in Microsoft to bring up the words it says “Psalm 30 is a song of thanksgiving by David, celebrating God’s deliverance from distress and the transition from sorrow to joy.” I pray this is my future. From Sorrow to Joy.

I will exalt you, Lord,
    for you lifted me out of the depths
    and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
Lord my God, I called to you for help,
    and you healed me.
You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
    you spared me from going down to the pit.

You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever.

One of the apps that has helped me on this journey is the Abide App which has some wonderful orators. I often use the “sleep stories” as restful pauses even during the day to calm and centre my soul in the Lord.

Another resource is the Pause App that was recommended to me earlier this year based on the books and ministry of John Eldredge. It also offers moments and prayers during the day to help calm and bring you back into fellowship with the Lord.